Why must everything come to an end?

Why do I take ends so hard? Been feeling so miserable, thinking about all sorts of things which will nv happen, like going uni and learning teaching.. or just somehow going pro, making it a career. Things which won't happen cos I'm not cut out for it(?) or maybe cos I won't allow it.. Don't know which one. Feel like seeing a counsellor, how am i supposed to put any efforts into anything if I take the ending of everything so hard? Only thing which cheered me up today was the email fr Lui Kiang. Maybe my correspondences with her will clear up my life a bit, maybe I'll find the courage and opportunity to do what I secretly want to do. Maybe I'm hoping too much. Hope I don't scare/ disgust her away. After all, I'm no longer that 14, 15 yr old who just smile and listen to her gossips with MG.

Watched Harry Potter finally. Very smooth show, a bit long, great music (that's 1 bk I'm going to order), somehow not as exciting as the previous ones.. Not much magic making or fighting with the dark forces, maybe because I and everyone else know that Sirius won't kill Harry, so the part where Lupin and Black were arguing on whether to kill "him" wasn't scary at all. Only scary bit was that Prof Trelawny suddenly warning Harry in this man's voice. The kids are better actors certainly, Draco morphing into a typical sch bully, just losing out to Harry and friends a bit too much. Not fun any more. Dumbledore seemed to have taken some youth potion since last yr, moving so agilely. Trelawny was more talkative and aunty than I imagined. Dementors were smaller than I thought they'll be. Overall, a good movie with a great plot and acting, just not enough action.

Went PS yesterday to get Andoh concert's tix. Played on STAGEA. It's taller than the older models, everything is taller including the bench. It felt more like a toy than an instru, a very expensive one. The number of choices of voices and patterns are immense, and registration menu is once again built-in. A good instru for on-the-spot improvisation if you're familiar with it. For composing/ arranging/ playing, well, more sound choices, but as per normal, to be exceptional, you can't use the preset voices, so still have to make user voices. Maybe the technology is better now. Too bad they didn't have the MDR added on, couldn't try XG features and stuff. Realised that I still can't see the style and play sth decent, all I could play yesterday were dumb stuff like descending bass melodies (eg. Spirited Away). Anyway, guess I won't get to know this instru well since I'm out of the world already.. haiz..

oh yeah, forgot to mention, I love this Outlook issue.