Sunday, 13 March 2005

I am an idiot. I know that I will regret this inaction for the rest of my life. I am going to watch the day pass.

I broke my promise yesterday. How unexpected. My biggest failure in life is that words don't come out of my mouth at the right moment. I either say the wrong things, or I miss the chance to say something good. But I am a selfish bloke and what I've just said just means that, I always say the wrong things and hurt people, and I always don't say the things that will benefit myself.

Why live in dreams when you have the power to make dreams come true? Even if there's a price. Why did I miss the opportunity over and over and over and over and over again? Now I have missed the last chance.. I suck.

Some analytical thinking. Don't kill me for what I'm going to say.
What's the probability that I'm going to NUS?
  1. Why should I stay in Singapore?
  2. Why should I leave?
  3. If I don't get a scholarship or any fin aid, do I still go? US? UK?
  4. If I get a Astar scholarship, do I take it?
  5. Am I even sure if Bio is what I want to do for the rest of my life, or even for the next 4 years?
  6. If no US schools accept me, do I go UK?
  7. If the London schools and the US schools reject me, do I still go?
  8. Is US really more appealing than UK?
  9. Am I ready to go? (Is this even a valid question?)
  10. Can I bear to leave my electone? (Yes this is a consideration)

After I've considered all these questions and get answers, then I'll know whether I'm going NUS or not. So if you ask me now, am I going to a local u, I can't answer u, I should have just said, put me in the festival, but I didn't.. Whatever. bleh. mondays are blue. I suck.

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