Friday 8 April 2005

Wrote a long huge post and blogger crashed before i managed to post it. Sian.

Went Woodbridge yesterday. Got this stereotype in my mind that everyone I meet will not be normal. I walked past the canteen while trying to find the place I'm supposed to go and there was a guy outside the canteen in a wheelchair. He waved to me. That's the part where warning bells go off. But I, being a nice friendly girl, went over and see what he wanted. He wanted to know the time. Heehee, anyway, Woodbridge is full of people who sit down and hum/sing to themselves.

Had a 3.5h talk with the psychologist, shall call her psycho from now on, cos it's shorter to type, she's not psycho in any way. I was so irritated by the questions, probing all into my life. Who is PSC to know about my family, my history, my friends.. I wanted to walk out after half an hour but I stayed on, too chicken to walk out. The psycho kept asking me for examples of what I said. Well I don't remember every single event that happened in my life and when I do happen to remember something, I don't cluster them into categories like, situations where there's a problem, situations where I was stressed, situations when I was most uncomfortable. If I really had such uncomfortable experiences, don't you think I'll try to forget them?
You can't describe a person/ feeling with a few words, or maybe not even with words. I know I can't. When she asked me to describe someone with a single word, I couldn't. I must have painted her quite a negative picture of my daddy, which is so inaccurate. I didn't answer quite a number of questions.

She thinks I'm guarded. True. Her advice to me, very apt advice. 1. Talk to people when I have problems, don't keep to myself. 2. It's ok to drop out and come back half way through overseas study if I can't make it, emotionally, academically, cos an overseas education is not worth me having a nervous breakdown.

I didn't give her an easy job. She needs to give me a lot of prompting before I can come up with more one-liner answers. I'm sorry, but I can't give you elaborations if my mind is blank and I have no suitable examples to cite. She was real pro, scribbling on her pad without me ever able to see what she scribbled. (hmm, how did she do that?) She didn't use lahs lors, didn't give unnecessary smiles, wasn't overly interested but was paying attention even though she really wouldn't feel entertained by my boring life.

Got me darn tired and realised how sad my life is. I didnt' have a good 3.5h. Nor was I entertained by the singing patients around, but woodbridge is a beautiful place, reminds me of a country club, but I wouldn't want to live there.

Dave could tell I wasn't feeling very smurfy and kept telling me to take a rest. haha, he even asked me to go home earlier. So nice of him. So I left early and went PS to play STAGEA. Felt so good playing with it, and my chords finding skills are getting so much better. I could find all the chords to If We Hold On Together, even the bridge part. I'm so proud of myself. After a while, I went to look at some new piano pop song scores. There's a nice book which I like, but not worth the money to buy cos I only like 2 pieces in it. Shall see if I can kope from someone to photocopy. Cheapo me.

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