family is not in the best condition ever, mom's really upset over her work and dad's really stressed trying to make a living and i'm so busy with my own life that i can't help them.. doesn't help that i'll waste another $2000++ on ireland and another $2000+ on organ this yr. Although they say it's no prob that i go, it's obvious that we need to be more thrifty and save more, especially when the family's income is hanging by an ultra-thin thread ---

I find myself an ultra boring person, so do a lot of people, like the GM food people, my section and people like jinxun who i talk to once in a bluer moon. Don't see the point in life, to pursue happiness? What is happiness? This is too GP for me. When I'm in sch, I long to go home, I dream about my organ playings. When I'm at home doing nothing, I long to go out/ sch or rather anywhere but stay at home cos at least there'll be something exciting/ interesting to do or interesting people to be with.

What in the world do I live for? So far the answer has been auspicium melioris aevi, hope for a better future. This phrase isn't supposed to be used this way, but nvm, what i mean is that I live for my dreams.. daydream of sleeping, night dream of doing things when I'm awake.
Otherwise i live for music, can't survive without music. Put in a bad way I'm addicted to it like it's a drug. Put in a nice way, I worship it like it's God. Probably a bit extreme, but quite close to what I'm feeling. Totally hooked. It's the best stress reliever of the day, swings moods so easily, feel so relaxed yet so concentrated when playing. Too bad I'm not any good at playing organ or expressing my feelings through notes.. Gosh, I'm seriously addicted. And he just tempted me to sink in even more today by talking about planning concerts. gosh...