concert yesterday, my last band concert, ever.. I believe.. but didn't feel sad or anything like Rhythm XVI, didn't feel that I've accomplished a lot even though I played all my important parts well (my Happy Ending was great! yeah, can actually hear me in the last part, the expressive melodious part)

Stage manager did a great job, there wasn't much confusion and most people were happy.. I love my room, I know that everyone was jealous of us. We got that conductor suite, which was a relatively big room with a toilet and a full length mirror and a comfortable couch and a bed looking like thing. All that for 4 people. Haha, compared to the 10+ strings stuck in some small dressing room with no room to move. And our room was connected to the next room, which was taken up by 2nd Violins, which had a great sounding piano. Entertainment for us.. Only bad thing about the room is that it's on a floor with only strings and teachers, the rest of the band are all on a different level, maybe that's why i didn't feel anything..

Esplanade is a wonderful place to play in. The hall just looks fantastic, this was my 4th time playing there and I'm still awed by the beauty of the hall, with the spiral thing on the roof, the theatre like seating, and of course, by my sound on the stage. Can hear myself so clearly, can hear every loose screw oscillating inside my instru.

Sometimes I really wish that I have wen-bin's confidence, don't scream people.. He's really confident.. Think professional, act professional, though maybe disgusting everyone in the meantime. Wish I can tell myself that I'm a professional, and believe in it. haiz, how to, when I screw up everything that comes into my hands..

sorry, i know my blog sounds sad and depressing again, but my blog is for me to complain, so if you are irritated by my complains, don't come here please