Tuesday 25 October 2005

I'm going to take some precious time off my reading about sleep, organising my sign language notes, reading Brave New World, to blog.

Evaluation of university life overseas so far. It's the 5th week of school. I've been out of home for almost 2 months. I can't believe I've been out for so long already. People asked me if I'm missing home, and I heartlessly say no. It's true. I don't miss my bed or my room or my ubi home.. Don't miss my parents much, surprisingly.. I miss being able to play my canned pieces and getting more canned stuff though. So people will ask, you're enjoying life here? And my answer will still be no. Life here is, I suppose, good. Academics are ok currently, before I get absolutely bewildered by the Math text and start falling asleep on all my Tues & Thurs classes, I have a nice bed, suitemates are nice people, there's a group of highly helpful seniors, food-wise, I'm not very particular anyway, and from my blog, it seems like I have been doing lots of fun stuff. But.. there's just something missing, and I don't know what. I'm not always happy, even though there isn't much to be unhappy about. So far the only missing things I can think of is a bunch of crazy ASsers who make me laugh so much and my weekly dose of playing with/ for people..

I used to love my Saturdays, cos when i was in J2, there was band (oh, i liked band in J2) and music class afterwards, even though sometimes music class is extremely brain-draining, and also because I usually go out on Sat evenings and not worry about the amount of S paper work I have to do the next day. Beginning this year, I like Saturdays, because it's a break from my boring attachment and I see my friends, whom I haven't seen for ages. After I stopped my attachment, I liked Saturdays because I got a lovely Saturday job, a job which I really looked forward to going to, a job which they didn't pay me and i can't be bothered to chase them, when I really should, cos the money I got can easily buy me another textbook. Now I don't have Saturdays to look forward to, because Saturday is just another day of the week. Fullstop.

Generally sian diao. Even though there isn't an alcohol problem here, people I hang out with are nice and harmless, I'm sian. When can I move past the acquaintence level to the friend level? When can I move from the, sorry bad example, GMfoodclub/LTG level to the AS/CB6 level? (um, in relation to me, I mean) I'm taking a interpersonal communications class and the teacher was talking about reciprocal* sth sth theory, which means that a relationship can only go into the next level if 1 person moves towards the next level. I totally agree.

If the world isn't what it is now, what will it be like? If social customs were different, would my morals be different? If I was brought up in a different place, different family, will I be more open about things? In 20 years' time, will things which are unacceptable be 司空见惯? My decisions and principles are based mostly on how I've been raised, how I've been taught. How much of what I have actually comes from me? If I was indoctrinated, like those people in Brave New World, with ridiculous propanganda messages, I'm sure I'll believe them. Is there a fixed set of principles that is in the human brain before any messages from the world pollutes it? If humans babies were put in a completely new environment, isolated from the world, what sort of moral system will they develop? Are the morals today tried and true morals from history or are they just part of the evolutionary process? Sorry.. All these questions sprouted from that Brave New World book.. Need to pen/ blog them down before I forget them or they drive me crazy.

It's late. I need my 8h of sleep (maybe I need more, my Psyc book is not telling me how much i need). Nite.

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